Franco8274
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 03-07-2010 Location:
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posted on 02-14-2012 at 11:07 |
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My story
My wife divorced me 4 years ago after 35 years. Three months later, I had my leg amputated unexpectedly and now am in a wheelchair.
I'm 61 'disabled' and receiving SS Disability, and my prospects for establishing a new relationship are zero to none. I live in a small town with no 'non-bar' social activities and women in my age bracket don't seem to be interested in someone in my condition because of the perceived notion that they will have to eventually become a nurse maid to me.
I'm independent, I drive and I'm able to do most things that I've always done, but walk, run and accomplish some physical things that require two legs. The last thing I want is to have someone 'take care of me'.
I believe that it's because of the lack of a relationship with a woman, that after 4 years, I haven't been able to recover from the 'trauma' of my divorce.
Of course, I was hardly innocent during those 35 years of marriage, but I wasn't an alcoholic, womanizer, bad father, bad provider, etc, but my ex-wife put all the blame on me for her infidelity. She was unfaithful 10 years after our wedding, when she became an office manager in a company. which apparently increased her self-esteem and financial independence and cheated with an officer of the company. We reconciled 3 months later with me taking all the blame and responsibility, which I gladly did.
I must say that when we met, we were both Christian, but 10 years after, we wandered from the church and that's when she fell into that temptation. After 30 years of being Christian, and 8 years of being a pastor, we again fell away because I was manipulated by an overseer to close my church,(finances declining) and rely on his assurance that he was going to use us in a different/similar ministry, which he failed to even begin to implement.(much more involved story)
Overtime, I 'lost' my faith and no longer practiced those 'principles'. My 'wife' followed suit eventually and got another job of similar stature and once again proved unfaithful, and developed a relationship with a much older man who was on the board of directors. I suppose she needed 'God' to keep her from succumbing to her untrustworthy and adulterous nature.
Well, that's my story and I'm really not looking for any help as I've been to a psychiatrist and therapist for most of the last 4 years with no real help except medication.
As an afterthought, we have 2 adult daughters and a 13 year old son. If it were for him, I probably would've checked out when the divorce was finalized.
Thanks for allowing me to just vent. Sometimes that helps.
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