lucy23
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 05-14-2006 Location: UK
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posted on 05-14-2006 at 10:46 |
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Some advice?
Hi,
This is the first time I have ever posted anything on a site like this and am very new to this, i kind of found this site by accident, but read a few posts and I think I may be able to get some help.
I am 20 and I'm still a virgin. I have a lot of anxiety and worry surrounding this and feel ashamed of the fact. I really want a boyfriend, not just because I want to have sex, but for the emotional and good parts of being with someone and enjoying time together. I am told lots by my friends that there is someone out there for me, i just have to wait and will find someone soon, but I'm fed up hearing this, it's easy for my friends who all have bfs and aren't still virgins to say this. The more time passes by, the more I think maybe there's something wrong with me, am I not attractive enough, or something?. I have nvr had a proper boyfriend, but can't say that I've never had sex offered to me, I've pulled guys when I've been out/been on dates and could have easily had a one night stand. Despite that I want a boyfriend so badly, I don't simply want to just do it with anyone, like most people I guess I want it to be special, but my worry is the longer I wait for the right person to come along, when a guy does come along, he won't want to sleep with me cos I'm inexperienced and to be honest, I don't think I'd blame him. I've got hardly any single friends and therefore none of them are all that interested in going out and stuff and I almost feel as if I am passed the going out and randomly pulling people just for fun, I want something serious, something real, something special.
Any advice would be great, please tell me I'm not the only person who feels like this.
xx
xx
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20yearsavi
Junior Member
Posts: 19
Registered: 02-06-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-14-2006 at 13:52 |
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lonely
I know how you feel. I felt that way for a long time and still do. But sex changes a relationship( I should know) my boyfriend and I tried having sex and it did go well at all. I pretty much missed with my emotions so that we are no longer together. My adivce would be to take you time and look for the "right" guy
I don't know if I was any help but good luck
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sweettart
Member
Posts: 49
Registered: 07-01-2005 Location: California
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posted on 05-14-2006 at 19:43 |
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virgin in waiting
My advice don't rush to lose your virginity.I'm a 36 year old virgin.I never had a boyfriend or went out on a date.Yes i want a boyfriend but i also want the right man in my life.
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luckycharmsuntouched
Member
Posts: 37
Registered: 06-04-2006 Location:
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posted on 06-09-2006 at 15:23 |
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....
I know how it feels to be lonely and want to have a boyfriend, but you have to stop thinking that something is wrong with you. have you considered that the right kinds of guys just havent come along. maybe you should try to meet new people in different ways than you are currently relying on. and about a boyfriend not wanting to have sex with you because you are a virgin, you couldnt be more wrong. if a guy truely cares about you, he wont care about that- infact im sure that he would be glad! and not to be disgusting or anything but most guys find it the most pleasurable when its the girl's first time because her vagina is still tight due to the fact that it really hasnt been used. so i wouldnt worry about it so much. as far as the boyfriend thing goes, just put yourself out there-what do you have to loose?-
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Jon1980
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 06-10-2006 Location:
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posted on 06-10-2006 at 09:46 |
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AT LAST! Another virgin!
Lucy, what you are saying saddens me so much!
I'm a 26 year old guy from the UK, this is my first time posting on this website...I can't believe how society has changed the way people think to such an extent that you are worried someone will not want to have sex with you because you are a virgin!
I'm a virgin myself for the same reason, because I don't want to have sex with just anyone, I want the first time to be with someone who I intend to be with for the rest of my life you know? It's hard to write down how I feel.
I've already posted on another website about this: http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body_and_Soul/Question245426.html
Virgins like us are rare, not just rare but virtually extinct! I don't want to go through life with a partner wishing that I was her first. I'm postive it would destroy my mind.
For your mental health I suggest that you just wait and find the right person, people have told me to get it over and done with but I cannot see why that would help.
I've looked for virgin-only dating websites, that's how desperate the situation has become! I can honestly say that I don't know a single girl of legal age who IS a virgin.
You know what you want but you shouldn't be worried about it, just be careful that you don't fall into a trap with a man who wants you BECAUSE of your virginity!
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Drooh
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 06-10-2006 Location: England
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posted on 06-10-2006 at 11:10 |
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New Member speaks.
There's nothing wrong with you, but don't ever think it will just 'happen'... This is the message men get about sex.
'Be proactive, exercise, change yourself etc, go out there and meet women'
This is the tip of the iceberg and it's easier said than done.
I think it needs to apply to women too though. Our generation likes to think it's modern and progressive, but we still hold to ideals that men 'approach' and women 'wait'...
Why can't it be equal?
If you want companionship... Put yourself out there. Read some self help books, listen to some Paul Mckenna hypnosis stuff.
It hasn't helped me lose my virginity yet, but it's given me a newer, more realistic perspective.
The reason why I am a 25 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend is because:
I am not bold enough, never have been and aren't naturally confident, SLIGHTLY cocky which women [most straight women] want.
I am caution incarnate.
'He/she who hesitates masturbates'
The sad thing is, is that I know this but am still frozen from doing anything. I feel the 'pain'.
Lol...
- Andrew. A new member.
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