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My_Perspective
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 03-04-2006 Location:
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posted on 03-18-2006 at 21:25 |
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HOW DO YOU REALLY KNOW????
Hi to all. This is my first post here. I would really like opinions & advice from those of you who'd care enough to offer them. I have spent countless hours wondering what to do in seeking a foreign bride from outside the USA. I have looked at a few websites to look at photos and profiles of Russian women. I've seen some that are BEAUTIFUL and sexy too. I have read that most Russian women are very sincere and genuine in their motivations for wanting to meet an American or western man and fall in love an marry. It would seem that moving out of Russia would also be on their list of desires. Much of what I have read on "advice" pages has seemed to sound reasonable and make sense, BUT I have NO way to know that any or all that I have read is true. I don't KNOW what is SAFE to believe. You might think I am being too much of a skeptic here. I might sound that way. I've experienced marriage here in the USA and ended up, like so many others, being devistated and broken hearted that a mate can be so cruel. I am tired of worrying about whether a foreign bride would be a BETTER & SAFER choice. How can you really attain a SUFFICIENT confidence that a Russian woman you fall in love with and want to marry REALLY wants you because she loves you and not simply becuase you could be her "open door" to the USA? I still feel a desire to see if I can find a truly good woman on one of the Russian "bride" websites, but I am VERY apprehensive about finding and marrying one just to find out later that she intentionally married me just to become an American citizen and then turn around and reveal that all I really was in her eyes was a "visa" to get in the USA once she has her green card or she becomes a US citizen. From personal experience I KNOW that SOME American women can HIDE their dark side until they get tired of you. Then you are dead meat. I really DO want true love. I invite your input. Thanks.
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Athena
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 03-29-2006 Location:
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posted on 03-30-2006 at 04:04 |
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about russian women from a russian woman
Hello.
First of all I would like to introduce myself: I’m 26 yo Russian female, living in Moscow. This forum interested me and maybe my opinion will make things clearer for you.
It’s true that Russian women are beautiful, sexy and sometimes very sincere and genuine. I would classified Russian women ( who you can meet on the internet) into four groups:
- professional scammers ( I’m not going to speak about them – there are enough information about Russian scammers here);
- green card huntress ( in my opinion this is the most dangerous category of women… they are very good actress and they are ready for everything in order to become a US citizen… Usually these women are not from Moscow and they think (often mistakenly, because many of them have never been abroad) that when they cross US custom their life will turn into paradise;
- just for fun ( usually girls of 18-27 yo, who do not intend to marry or have serious relationship, they are chatting with you just to kill time or to improve their English);
- sincere and genuine women ( such women are becoming extinct, but you have a chance, maybe a little but a chance, to meet one of them…. and if it happens I’m sure that you’ll be the happiest man in the world. She will give you all her love- real love, she’ll be your best friend, devoted wife and good mother for your children)
I guess you would like to know how to distinguish between “good” and “evil”…there is only one way – to come to Russia and to see in person your chosen one. No doubt you’ll have the right opinion about her pretty quickly, you just need to be attentive, to notice every detail in her behaviour, gestures and words.
And I would like to add… there are people and people, I believe that you can meet good people everywhere around the world….maybe we are looking for them in wrong places?
I wish you good luck and I hope that I helped you.
I’m sorry if my English is not perfect, I’m not native speaker.
Bye :)
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My_Perspective
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 03-04-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-08-2006 at 12:08 |
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Response to Athena
Athena this is My_Perspective writing to you.
You said in your letter above that most of the genuinely sincere Russian women are almost extinct. Would you please explain why you think this is so?
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Athena
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 03-29-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-10-2006 at 03:45 |
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sincere women
Hello, My_Perspective.
I’ll try to answer your question. You know, in my life I do not meet often sincere and genuine people (not only women) …do you?
We are living in a material world now, where there is no place for such thing as sincerity, where people do not believe each other…Sometimes we are not sincere even with ourselves.
Now about Russian women… I want to give you 2 examples of the most prevalent women’s way of thinking.
- When a woman meet a man who’s intelligent, smart, handsome etc. , not an oligarch – “What an interesting man! It’s a pleasure to talk to him. But he’s not rich. It’ll be not good match for me” ….
- When a woman meet a man who’s rich, but not attractive – “ Well, he’s not who I was waiting for. He’s not my cup of tea…but he has money, and maybe with time I’ll love him…who knows”…
You see, women know do not listen to their hearts they are guided by their common sense only. And it’s quite clear that calculating people cannot be sincere with others.
P.S. Despite all written above I know that it’s possible to meet someone who’s sincere and genuine …we just need to be sincere ourselves.
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Klaatu5
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 05-07-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-07-2006 at 18:21 |
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How Do You Really Know
I have made 2 tours through marital agencies and believe I can speak to some of your questions. I also know several men married to Russian and Ukrainian women.
Over time, I have become convinced that on the whole, these Russain women are simply looking for a good man -- as astonishing as that may sound. For various cultural reasons, good men are in short supply over there. I think that few women are looking for a green card or a luxurious lifestyle they imagine they might have in a western nation.
Now given your dealings with American women, this is very hard to believe. It is inconceivable that an American woman would want us for the sake of us. There must be an ulterior motive! American women want jock strap studs and rich guys; they won't give a "good man" who has nothing else to offer the time of day.
I think that the women I have encountered at the socials and through e:mail correspondence have been a mixed lot. A few are scammers, of course. Look for signs of plastic surgery -- breast enlargements, coalegin lips, etc., then ask yourself: how can a woman from a poorer nation afford this? Also, there is simply a "too good to be true" standard. Even in Russia, a woman who looks like Pamela Anderson is not going to have any difficulty finding a date or a husband.
I think another segment of the women were simply curious about the whole thing. They wanted to see if American men had 2 heads or 3 eyeballs, so they came to the socials to see. Why not? It might be entertaining. Maybe even they would find the kind of man they were seeking.
I also think that many, probably the majority, and maybe the great majority, were quite serious about finding a husband. And some of them were not bad looking.
I have been at socials where there were @ 11 men and @ 150 women. It is quite an overwhelming experience. You have to make a lot of crucial decisions about which ones you will pursue based on very little information.
You will be taking a chance with these women. But some of us are at a point in our lives where it is time to take a chance. Also, I do not think that they present a lot more risk than American women.
They might shaft you in a divorce? It can sure happen with American women. They might get fat? We all know that American women never get fat after marriage! They might run off with best friend? You get the idea.
Good luck. You are aware of the risks; now it is time to take some risk.
I believe that the reward can be tremendous.
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danno
Junior Member
Posts: 16
Registered: 09-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 09-13-2006 at 10:39 |
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Athena Advice
I was impressed wit this women's advice and her categories. I truly think is quite correct when discussing the extinct category. I married a russian woman in 2001 and believe me I thought I investigated her completely. I even had some local russian women quizz her over the telephone and then in person when I brought her here. My ex was a pro in terms of scamming.
Professional relationship persons say it takes 2 full years to date someone before you really know them. The russian bride marriage are mainly e-mail, some phone conversation, a quick meeting overseas, then a visa to the U.S. You have a lousy 3 months to make a decision once she is here. From my experience it is not enough time, and that forces you to make a bad and yet highly possible tragic decision.
Once I married her, she changed 180-degrees. I finally had to divorce her in 2004 as I was tired of her infidelities as she searched for her rich american guy who looked like Tom Cruise.
Guys be very careful. I never want any of you to go through what I have. It has been the worst experience of my 56 years of life. Even if they sign a pre-nup, the feds and the law say you are responsible for them for 10 years or until they become citizens. Many know this and refuse to become citizens as they studied the law and know they can get money out of you in the future if they need it.
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Lana
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 09-14-2006 Location: Brooklyn, NY
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posted on 09-14-2006 at 10:39 |
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I'm afraid
Hi everyone!
I'm just a Russian girl in New York. I was wondering what American guys do really think about us (Rus.girls) that's why I'm here.
Well many of you are complaining that we are hunting for documents or money...
At the same time few Russian girls are simply looking for TRUE LOVE here, in US. (I’ve been here for one year and, Thank God, can feed myself and pay my bills)
I had an experience with dating American man. I’m sick and tired of those stories like: how hard to have a deal with American women. (Let’s skip this part)
I had an Internet friend Nick from FL, who was calling me day by day and wanted to marry me. Do you know why? Well because I’m Russian and it was his dream to have a family with Russian woman. He visited Russia couple times trying to find a bride there, but unsuccessfully. He watched Russian TV and had Russian hymn as a ring tone on his cell. He was not afraid to tell me how happy he would be if he got married with Russian girl. After two weeks of phone conversations with him I got so overwhelmed.
To be honest I didn’t want to jump and marry Nick. I tried to explain my decision like: let’s be friends at first Nick. Then he started asking how much do I miss my parents and brother in Russia. The solution was so obvious for him: Well, girl you have to get marry with an American man and go to visit them. It was not funny any more. I stopped being in touch with Nick.
I hope he is doing great now. He sent me an ICQ message once, that he was planning to go to Russia again…
I met Eric on one Christian site not long ago. He specified himself as “marriage-minded”. Honestly I liked him as a person. I didn’t have anything against the thing that he was a police officer. I found it very romantic. And he was so close to his family.
But, guys, he wanted me being his girlfriend right away at the first date. Once he asked me a question: How much time people should date before marriage…Then replied: Honey, we won’t be dating for a long time. We get married soon. Believe me; you can visit your Mommy soon!
Ok, I’d like to have a family. I love kids. But I noticed that Eric wants to go very fast. I have to keep a little distance between us. I don’t promise him anything. We are so different and I don’t want to hurt him.
He acts like he got luck to have a Russian girl. And again, don’t laugh, he really wants to have a Russian wife…
Now my problem is that don’t think that we are good match. I tell you more after those guys I found myself being afraid of marriage with American man.
I had a bad luck I guess. Do you think it was my fault? I always picking up wrong men…
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danno
Junior Member
Posts: 16
Registered: 09-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 09-14-2006 at 21:16 |
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Russian Women
Lana...I think you hit the nail on the head when you said a "few" Russian women are looking for true love. My experince which I will explain indicates that most are looking for a ticket to the west, mainly a green card. I married a Russian woman in 2001, and I must admit that she was a professional when it came to acting sincere. I spent 14 months conversing with her, and even had some Russian friends here speak with her extensively trying to find the slightest hint of fraud or scam from her. She was well -trained and fooled even them. She was gone as soon as she got her green card for herself and son. I was left with a broken heart and thousands of dollars out of pocket. I aso met more than a dozen other women who came here for marriage. I think today there are only 3 who have not fled after getting a green card. American men including myself bought into the PR that Russian women are so different than American women. We also got hooked thinking a younger and very beautiful woman would be happy with a "regular" guy. That is what is promoted on the Russian Bride web sites. They appeal to the American man's greed for a young, beautiful wife. They appeal to the romantic in us. They appeal to our weakness of wanting a wife and happiness. The reality is there is about a 15% chance of getting that long term marriage with a Russian woman, based on stats from my U.S. Congressman. I would never state all Russian women are scammers, dishonest or just seek a green card. There are bad people in every country both male and female. Men seeking Russian brides really need to take off the rose-colored glasses and listen to us men who have been through the process. We deal with reality, while the web sites deal with fairy tale endings. In terms of the American men you are meeting and conversing with I can only state they seem "needy" and think they are the "white knights" for the poor little Russian women who are not citizens or green card holders. Stay away from them too. It takes about 2 years of dating to really get to know a person. That's what marriage experts have determined. There is no way to devlop that type of relationship with a Russian woman. It is a few months of e-mails, some phone conversation, a week or two meeting her, she comes to the USA and the man has only 3 months to decide to marry her or send her back under the immigration laws. That is totally inadequate to build a real relationship or even knowing the person. My Russian wife was pretty but not gorgeous, and our age difference was only 12 years. I didn't want gorgeous. I thought just pretty was a safer bet. I was wrong. Any "average" American guy better wake up and understand that if he only dates "average" looking american women, then he needs to find an average looking Russian wife. Chemistry and physical attraction do not change amongst women of any country. So men, drop the ego and stop thinking a beautiful or gorgeous Russian gal just wants YOU for YOU. The marriages I see working here are average to average looks for both partners. All the gals who were pretty or gorgeous married to average have left in search of a handsome or rich american guy. That's my experience and observation.
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Leonhard
Newbie
Posts: 6
Registered: 03-09-2007 Location: Germany
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posted on 03-09-2007 at 11:24 |
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I am wonder
Really/ I am wonder about your post. It is so bad!
I am seeking for my future wife from Russia I hope for 3 years.( and I found her).
I know all this system (secrets, dating websites, about scam and so on)
And I see that a lot of people here don't understand they wrote there.
Please fell freee to ask me about any question for dating russian women.
I will help
romeo_orel@yahoo.com
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chrisbfl
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 03-26-2007 Location:
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posted on 04-02-2007 at 10:10 |
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I was very lucky
I was very lucky and wll soon have my seventh anniversery with my beautiful wife from Ukraine. Our little girl Sabrina-Tatiana just had her 4th birthday. In so far as other Americans and one man from the UK that I know, it seems to be a 50-50 proposition. That is to say of the 8 I know, 4 are happy and 4 are now divorced. I suppose that is an average statistic. When I look back I could have been such a soft target for a scam. I was married for 20 years and lost my first wife to cancer. I was an emotional wreck and fell hard for the woman who I did marry. I was so intense, I learned to speak Russian before we met, after writing for 5 months. As it turned out. she had lost her husband due to a medical error so we shared a common loss. She recently finished her BA in psychology and she is wonderful!
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nuar
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 04-03-2007 Location: Singapore
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posted on 04-03-2007 at 07:37 |
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some suggestions from ukrainian woman
Hello, everybody.
Well, the topic about "if there are still any russian women" is timeless, I guess.
I'm Ukrainian woman living in Singapore now. I've been corresponding for quite a long time with many people who finally became my friends. As it was told here, I was too young at that time (and I'm still young!:))) ) to think about marrige or anything serious.
I moved to Singapore by myself, not with the help of any sponsor or any boyfriend. Just for your information. :)
Getting back to russian women topic, - many of my friends either married to foreigners (Different - turkish, belgium, german, american) or getting ready to marry - and I do believe that genuine good russian women exists. I have several examples of wonderful "long-lasting" international couples.
But you will have to spend some time to look for a real nice, genuine woman. Nowadays, there are so many people who want either get out of their country in any way,or golddiggers. So, be patient.
A few advices I might give to you is:
- never look for russian women in "russian dating websites" - those that specialise only in russian/ukrainian women. Look for russian women on any international websites, better paid, non-free. When the woman is really seriuos about finding a partner, she is ready to pay the membership in non-free agency. I know women who do it.
- don't get hooked on those "model-like" pictures - many of them do not belong to the woman you will be corresponding to.
-And the most important: don't try to cheat yourself. If during comunication with the woman you feel that something is wrong - it IS wrong. Trust your intuition.
Hope that will help you.
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slavamogutin
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 04-10-2007 Location:
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posted on 04-10-2007 at 18:28 |
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AFA?
It sounds like some of you have been on a tour to russia. Did you go with A Foreign Affair, by any chance? I'd like to know more about that experience. Thanks for your insights.
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fanky
Junior Member
Posts: 10
Registered: 08-02-2011 Location:
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posted on 08-03-2011 at 00:30 |
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qwe
Parking and reversing maneuvering are important skill
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kabom
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 08-10-2011 Location:
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posted on 08-10-2011 at 21:27 |
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ASC
Updating you
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corcimarnadejda
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 06-15-2011 Location: Moldova
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posted on 08-22-2011 at 07:01 |
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Why NOT marry a Russian woman?
Why NOT marry a Russian woman?
by Nadia Dantos
If you are nursing the idea of getting married to a woman from any of the Russian states,get ready for a strange and new eye opening experience.From the very beginning it is destined not to be an easy ride.Starting from the differences in mentality,the language barrier,the usual age gap between the two of you,and finishing with the intimidating immigration process in the former soviet countries,this project of yours may become one of your worst nightmares.Buiding a strong and happy relationship with a "Russian girl" seems to be the greatest affair of your personal life,yet this commonly encountered illusion among Western men,when applied in real life,proves to remain what it really is:just an illusion.
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