h3althysexuality
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 06-26-2009 Location:
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posted on 06-26-2009 at 21:05 |
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psychology-sex-Virgin4Life is an a-hole
hey bud,
sounds like you're nervous as to where you can start off. to be honest, sex is far more complex than what you probably think it is. people start having sex for right and wrong reasons. to me, good reasons for sex are: celebrating a healthy relationship with your partner, wanting to give them pleasure, just for the hell of it.
on the other hand, bad reasons to have sex are: without having sex, you don't feel validated in self or self-esteem. if you are a male, and by the way you talk, you probably are, being a virgin is definitely stressful at times. its easy to forget you're as good as everybody else. this may sound mushy and pussy-ish, but it's NOT! im a virgin surrounded by many friends who have already given theirs' away, had it taken from them and thrown it away regretfully.
it also sounds like you have a testosterone trip going on; after i left school for the summer, i found i had a LOT less sex drive. I just don't see as much T and A walking around.
my biggest advice is don't go looking for a woman to have sex with. just carry out your normal routine. if you see a woman who's attractive, look for the wedding ring; kissing another guy (boyfriend probably); sitting with her girlfriends, drinkin away (don't approach a group of women alone...you don't stand a chance [this is what your homies are for, you can approach as a group, and you don't look as self-isolating])...
my BEST advice is to talk to a sex therapist and a therapist period. sexuality is a volatile topic and until you can calm yourself down, it'll be hard for you to be mature about sex. (it's hard for me to be calm , so, i know i have a while to go). just enjoy being STD free, not a dad and a not a rapist. OR, you can ignore everything i just said, go on MySpace and look up a group for people who just wanna fuck. BAD IDEA, but your'e the one who wants to lose their virginity.
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