attheedge
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 07-19-2007 Location:
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posted on 07-19-2007 at 16:26 |
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That large brick wall infront of me...
Hey,
i am a 17 year old male student. I am still a virgin and can't take it anymore. I live in an area in which people start to lose their virginity at the age of like 14
i personally do not know of anyone of my friends that are still *untouched*.
The fact that i am a virgin is used agaisnt me in certain arguments for no reason and i can't take it, i gotta get rid,
But theres a problem, i have this moral that i didnt know existed until i tried,
I really do not want to lose my virginity to someone who has already had sex, i want them to also be a virgin,
i don't want it to be all special etc, i just want a fair trade, mine for theirs, if i didnt get anything in return, it feels like they would have just stolen something from me, and i would be left with nothing
like i said in my area there are hardly any virgins ( that i am attracted too)
every girl i have gained an interest in has already done it, and they do offer to have sex but i'm unable to get past this huge wall infront of me.
The desperation for sex is extreme and on the verge of throwing away the one moral i hold important, if i go through with ditching it, i can tell i will feel dead inside and hate myself forever, but im losing the "inner battle" between what i want/should do
I know this may be random but i needed to get it out somehow, and what better way than to make an account that can't be traced, to express it,
non of my close friends even have a clue about the way i feel
so to whoever reads this...consider yourself honored XD
Please tell me there is someone who holds the same moral and reason as me cus i feel like the only one, and its destroying me inside
thx for reading...
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Parthena
Member
Posts: 57
Registered: 07-07-2007 Location: Greece
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posted on 12-16-2007 at 03:29 |
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You are amazing
Hi there - I like your philosophy. It's nice that there's people out there who have some values. We all have sexual desires, you can't be human and not... But don't give up on finding that virgin girl for yourself and honouring her with the best thing you could give her... a pure you. I am a 28-year-old virgin, good-looking and intelligent and my parents brought me up right, always teaching me to wait until I'm married to jump into bed. So I've waited and now I think I'd like a man who has also waited for me. Why should it be different for men and women? Sex is sex, no matter what body parts you have. If you can't handle celibacy, find a good girl and get married or just masturbate until you find her. But don't find a "fuck buddy" or a prostitute just to get the act over with. I know guys who did that and they ended up totally not valuing either sex, their bodies, women, long-term relationships, marriage or traditional family values. They lost hope and just ended up going from one useless relationship to another, usually with desperate women who would give themselves to anyone who could buy them a cheap dinner.
I say you've got something special. To women like me you are a king. Keep yourself this way until you find that one special girl and I promise you there is NOTHING she wouldn't do for you.
(P.S. If you really want a virgin I suggest going to church one day... There's heaps of them there and they usually go for virgin males too).
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diordiva
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 12-24-2007 Location:
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posted on 12-24-2007 at 16:32 |
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Well
I just personally don't get this big fuss about virginity. Unless it's for religious reasons.
Sex is something we all need, and having sex is something normal we do. Ultra ordinary, be it the first time or Nth time. What's the matter? i mean, with what we're exposed to today, a girl ( or boy) could have done and known lots of stuff before losing her/his virginity: could have masturbated, watched porn, used toys. You name it. It's all about satisfying sexual desire. You've probably done it by yourself for countless times, and suddenly doing it with someone else it's THE big deal in life? Take it easy,there's no need to magnify the " 1st time sex", totally unecessary. Especially when you're not looking for someone to love, but just someone to lose your virginity to.
I could be wrong but this is what i believe
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tLakota
Member
Posts: 37
Registered: 09-20-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-25-2007 at 23:41 |
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Not true
Diva, I don't know if you are a virgin or not, I don't really care. But sharing your body with someone, your whole you, is a special thing and something decidedly different than self stimulation. You can't give yourself an STD if you haven't had sexual contact with others. You don't deal with the drama of sleeping with a guy who's already had 3 fuck buddies and is cheating on you. And most important for me as an 18 year old college student, I don't have to worry about what will happen if I get pregnant. I simply won't. And that is a special kind of security. By having sex with someone for the first time, you change your life, whether it's consensual or not. By losing your virginity, not only does that really quick start your libido, but you are making yourself truly vulnerable at that level to another person. While masturbating, I can do or say or think anything I want with no regard for anyone else, just me and MY pleasure. In sex, I don't have all the control as I would otherwise. And I feel that level of control is unacceptable in the hands of a guy I'm not seriously thinking of marrying. It gives someone else a measure of control in my life on a deeply powerful level. But as a virgin, I don't have rumors about how good I am floating through the halls, or have to worry about who might stay if I decide to keep a baby. I'm in control, and that is why my virginity is priceless.
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moonlite
Member
Posts: 93
Registered: 07-20-2005 Location:
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posted on 12-26-2007 at 17:54 |
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Reply to Not True
For some reason girls, and I suppose boys also, are so secretive about masturbation, in fact more so than intercourse. From my own experience i have been in a room when a couple was doing sex ,Actually penetration, Recently my roommate has her boyfriend in her room while I am in the room. The lights are off but I can know what they are doing. They both know I am awake. When in summer school for a summer session of college while between my junior and senior school. my roommate thought I was sleeping and was masturbating. I have a fantasy that sometime I can masturbate while watching another person, boy or girl do the same. I know this would be risky as a boy may want me to do more and my virginity would be in jepardy and if it was with another girl I may be accused of being a lesbian. I guess it will never happen as I am too shy to initate such an event.
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tLakota
Member
Posts: 37
Registered: 09-20-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-27-2007 at 19:11 |
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I agree
'For some reason girls, and I suppose boys also, are so secretive about masturbation, in fact more so than intercourse. When in summer school for a summer session of college while between my junior and senior school. my roommate thought I was sleeping and was masturbating. I have a fantasy that sometime I can masturbate while watching another person, boy or girl do the same. I know this would be risky as a boy may want me to do more and my virginity would be in jepardy and if it was with another girl I may be accused of being a lesbian. I guess it will never happen as I am too shy to initate such an event.'
I agree that masturbation is a bit more secretive, in fact I've never caught my brother masturbating and vice versa. But I'm not sure why that is. But masturbation really has nothing to do with virginity. Both me and my bro are virgins, but we know for a fact we both masturbate just never caught. I tend to masturbate before I go to sleep or when there's no one in the house, simply because I don't want to disturb anyone and I like to make noise. But there have also been times when I was in public and couldn't handle it anymore. Bathrooms, elevators, hot tubs, steam rooms, locker rooms, public showers, the list goes on. I'm sure everyone has had a time when you can't think or walk straight because they were super horny. And I have to agree that most people are open to sharing their sexuality with others when it comes to masturbating but don't, because they don't want to be labeled by the public. But that's just a consequence of having doors on sex, where you can only have sex or masturbate to porn to be normal. It's a shame too... (TT_TT)
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diordiva
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 12-24-2007 Location:
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posted on 01-02-2008 at 18:49 |
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It depends
I don't really think having sex before marriage puts anyone on a vulnerable position or any less in control. Yes, having sexual relationship could be different from masturbation on some aspects, i give you that. I was simply trying to convince attheedge to go for his first time as he clearly NEEDS to lose it due to the peer pressure. I have always felt in control and losing my virginity with a guy i'm not married to hasn't taken a bit of that away. And i believe you can only be in control if you decided to take control. There's no reason to worry excessively about getting STD or pregnant (never happened to me anyway), the chance is very small if you're careful and that's the whole point of practicing safe sex. As girls we should and better know how to take care of our bodies. And as for all other emotional insecurities, that's really up to how you view it. I have been hurt before and i take it as a valuable growing experience and lesson in life. It's not necessarily a bad thing to have been exposed to some degree of pain, relationship wise, before marriage. You'll probably know how to handle things better. Afterall, getting married doesn't mean you're problem free, doesn't mean you won't be overpowered at times, doesn't mean you won't get hurt or cheated on ever since. And it mostly will happen since we're human and human make mistakes. Imagine if i got cheated on by my husband, for whom i've waited so many years on my virginity, wouldn't that feel twice as devastating... and that would probably be the time i feel i've totally lost control.
Again this is my own very subjective point of view.
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Blank_Wall
Member
Posts: 43
Registered: 02-09-2007 Location: Houston, TX
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posted on 01-03-2008 at 09:51 |
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I agree with at the edge
OK - I haven’t been here for a while, so I thought I’d drop in and say “HI”.
HI!!!!
... and you can still count me as being among the virginal - and likely
to die that way.
Nevertheless, I get what “AtTheEdge” is getting at, as I feel the same way
- only not about virginity as being something to get rid of - but something
of value that can become a part of the bond that two people can have within
the context of a committed relationship.
If I were to ever have a relationship with someone (which might happen when
Hell freezes over), I want it to be with the only person that I’ve ever had
sex with - and I want it to be the same for her as well.
Besides that, I would want my first relationship to be with someone with the
same degree of relationship experience that I have - I want a level playing field
in that regard.
I’d rather die a virgin than to potentially miss out on something like that,
and I don’t think that a relationship without having that component is really
worth having. Please keep in mind that I’m a high-level introvert that doesn’t
have a burning need for an intimate relationship in the first place, so YMMV
on that account. Also keep in mind that I’m afflicted with Aspergers Syndrome,
so forming relationships in the first place comes with a great deal of difficulty
for myself (for those of you who don’t remember me [or came in late]), so it’s
not like I have much in the way of options and opportunities in the first place.
IOW: I’m a social retard, and there isn’t a whole lot that I can do about it.
Sex might feel good, but I’m someone who is motivated by something more than
good feelings.
Can anyone else relate to this?
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