I'm 19 and started going out with this guy a month before i went to uni. We never expected to do anything cause we knew it had to end, but we ended up getting so close we decided to stay together.
However, things fell apart because he started to become afraid of sex, out of no where. He has had plenty of sexual experiance and i couldnt understand why. We broke up for 4 months, but now we are back together.
I'm petrified. I really want it to work this time. I want him to be my first. He says he just doesnt want to take my virginity and then be the asshole if we break up, but ive tryed explaining that im old enough to choose those things for myself.
He just isnt interested in sex though. I mean i'm not a sex maniac, but i want to get my first time out of the way so i never had to deal with these issues again.
Should i try and initiate. Or should i wait for him to feel in the mood? Or should i dump him? Or is he gay? Everyone thinks he is, but they only see him saying no to sex from a virgin, theyre not looking at the big picture. I'm trying to play this really carefully cause a wrong move and i'll loose him.
'I'm 19 and started going out with this guy a month before i went to uni. We never expected to do anything cause we knew it had to end, but we ended up getting so close we decided to stay together.
However, things fell apart because he started to become afraid of sex, out of no where. He has had plenty of sexual experiance and i couldnt understand why. We broke up for 4 months, but now we are back together.
I'm petrified. I really want it to work this time. I want him to be my first. He says he just doesnt want to take my virginity and then be the asshole if we break up, but ive tryed explaining that im old enough to choose those things for myself.
He just isnt interested in sex though. I mean i'm not a sex maniac, but i want to get my first time out of the way so i never had to deal with these issues again.
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Excuse me for typing this, but I think this is insane - it’s completely nuts.
It’s crazy how some people stigmatize virginity - both virgins and non-virgins.
Being a virgin is not an obstacle to be surmounted, but should be something valued
- and there are some guys who still value it. I wouldn’t touch a girl who isn’t
a virgin - like myself - and I’ve reached the conclusion that I’ll not likely
ever touch a girl.
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Should i try and initiate. Or should i wait for him to feel in the mood? Or should i dump him? Or is he gay? Everyone thinks he is, but they only see him saying no to sex from a virgin, theyre not looking at the big picture. I'm trying to play this really carefully cause a wrong move and i'll loose him.'
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Losing him would be the best thing that could happen.
If this guy has some kind of problem with it, then he’s the one who’s nuts.
Anyone who has a problem with it is nuts, and it should be a red flag to you
if they make an issue of it - and you should run away from them as fast as you can.
Dump him. You can do better for yourself, and there are plenty of better choices
if you make the effort to find them - especially if you’re at least average
in terms of physical attractiveness.
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